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This is for those people who like to take other people to court because they don’t use their brain or common sense.

 

Privacy

I will do my best to keep your data safe, as safe as I can possibly make it, but I’m no security expert and this website is based on WordPress, I have no idea how the inner working are put together, whether the programmer had any idea of what OOP is, or whether there is an easter egg somewhere in the code, with that said, if your privacy is important to you, then don’t provide us with the data.

Why we collect data?

Because this website provides a service, and that’s how it all works, you want something, I need to know who you are, how to address you, how to contact you, and find out what your interests are so I can upsell you more and more. Seriously. We got cool stuff, you know it, I know it, so just hand that data over so we can do our job properly. If it ever happens that you don’t like us anymore, just shoot through an email and we’ll digitally erase you. After you provide proof of identity with a copy of your passport, proof of address, and all verified by a justice of the peace (or similar) that the contents of the document are true and correct, and witnessing the person’s signature on the document.

How long we keep your data?

Until we lose it, or you ask for it to be deleted.

Automated decisions

I hate these things, it’s how filthy companies like Facebook operate and make the profit they do, by cutting on human services provided (support). You know, you pay through the nose for Facebook ads, then you experience an issue with your FB account because they block you (you end up automagically in Facebook jail) and you try to contact them to rectify it, and all you get are these automated responses that mean jack all. Well, we don’t do those, if you got a problem yo I’ll solve it. ice ice…

Your Rights

You can ask to see the information we have about you. You can also ask to have it changed, correct it, delete it, restrict it, or object to the way it’s used. But I probably won’t bother and just delete everything.

If you want to complain about how I’ve handled your data, you can get in touch. If you do that, I’ll launch an official investigation into your complaint and ask you a trillion questions and forms to complete so that you won’t bother.

If you’re not happy with my response – or you think I’m not processing your data as the law says we should – you can complain to the Information Commissioner’s Office. But the truth is, you probably never bothered to read all the fine print and just clicked ACCEPT, so it’s really your own damn fault.

 

Cookies

We probably use cookies to record everything you do on this website, so don’t do anything you don’t want to be recorded. If you don’t like cookies, don’t put your hand in the cookie jar. Besides cookies, there is a database behind this website which stores a lot of shit.

 

Data Collection

If you don’t enter it, we probably won’t have it, if you enter it and submit it, we will probably store it and use it to make as much money as possible, all within reason of course, our spam will have unsubscribe links if you don’t like it, so just click that shit and be done.

If a third party offers me enough money for me to share all the email addresses I will probably accept it, but I’ll always keep control of the list, so I can make more money off them, if I let them have it all, I can only charge them once. I’ll make sure they’re fitness related as I go nuts for that stuff.

Your IP address, hostname and everything that can be obtained from your visit will probably be stored somewhere, not sure if that stuff is even interesting to anyone other than Google, the FBI, etc. but if I figure out how to make money with your IP number and hostname I probably will.

Remember, this website is integrated with Google and Facebook, they are the worst when it comes to collecting data, they want to know who you’re talking to, why, how long, when, and how they can make money of it. So, if that bothers you, turn that switch off now.

 

About

If you haven’t already, read the about us so you can see and understand what this website is about.

 

Safety First

The safety of yourself and those in your surrounding is PRIORITY number one, if you can’t guarantee the safety, don’t attempt whatever it is you’re going to attempt. If you’re not sure or in doubt, ask in the forum or contact me directly.

 

Find a Qualified Trainer

I don’t recommend anyone to train on their own, always train with a qualified trainer.

 

Children

This website is not for children, in fact, anyone between 14 and 18 should be supervised. This is no joke.

 

Use Common Sense

ALWAYS use common sense with any information provided to you on our website, to give you an example, if we are slamming a sledgehammer into a tyre like a madman and you have never done this before, don’t go and attempt the same, do your research, double do your research outside of this website, get a qualified professional to assist you in anything you do, do things with progression and always ALWAYS keep safety in mind as priority number 1. If something doesn’t feel or look right, don’t do it. If you’re not sure or in doubt, ask in the forum or contact me directly.

 

Forums and other Content posted by the public

Please be aware that this is a public website and not everything posted is owned or condoned by us, if you believe someone has violated our trust, please be a good community member and report the content plus offender to us.

 

Progress Safely and Slowly

Just because you see someone wear a gas mask, a weight vest, and two freaking heavy kettlebells, doesn’t mean you can do the same, always progress to something slowly and safely over time, can you handle two freaking heavy kettlebells with a gas mask and weight vest? No. Don’t progress yet.

I’ll keep this up to date as I can think of or come across more stupidity that can occur.

 

 

Terms of Service

Country
Spain

Where is the website hosted?
Probably in the US, but if something like that is really important to you, you should probably exit now.

Where will your Terms of Service be used for?
Website, this one you’re on right now.

Is your website owned and operated by a registered company?
No, the website is operated by me, an individual, I put all the hard yards in myself, and I can’t afford to pay all the extra stuff that comes with running a company right now. I give away too much free shit.

Do you sell products or services on or through your website?
I will sell anything and everything I can to make money and feed my family (legally).

Do you want to reserve the right to change the products’ prices at any time?
Hell Yes! When the freaking taxes go up, or I need to buy a fourth BMW, where else am I going to get the money from?

Do you want to reserve the right to refuse or cancel certain orders at your sole discretion? Shit Yes, if you don’t pay me, you’re not going to get that shit, and if you piss me off with one thousand and one questions, you can keep your money.

Do you plan to offer contests, sweepstakes or promotions on your website?
Damn skippy

What kind of subscription plans do you offer?
Monthly plans, Annual plans, and any other frequency I see fit.

What kind of payment methods do you accept?
Anything that pays the bills.

Do you offer a free trial?
Damn straight.

Do you offer refunds on purchases of subscription plans?
No refunds, except when required by law. But also depends whether you deserve it or not, if you ate the cookie and want to hand me the crumbs back, well mate, that’s not going to happen now is it.

Yes, users can pick a username to login into on our website
Can users create or publish content on your website?
Yes, users can create or upload content (text, images, videos etc.) but they better not get me in trouble or I’ll be coming down on the sbs like a ton of bricks

Is the content published by users available publicly?
Yes, the content is publicly available for all users through the website

Can users send you copyright infringements notices?
Fo shizzle my nizzle, can’t stand it when people steal shit.

Do you want to be able to terminate access to certain users, if these users abuse your website? hells to the yes, if you’re a wanker on my site you will be terminated as quick as a cricket.

Do you want to make it clear that your own content and trademarks are your exclusive property? Yes, our own content (logo, visual design etc.) and trademarks are our exclusive property unless stated otherwise.

Do you want to limit your liability by providing your website on an “AS IS” and “AS AVAILABLE” basis? Yes, please include the “Disclaimer” and “Limitation of Liability” disclosures…. dude seriously, AS IS in big bold letters is enough, nuff said.

With all these bigshot lawyers out to make the world a sadder place, it really doesn’t matter what I write here, there will be a loophole somewhere they can find if they throw enough money at it. Let me put it this way, if you have ever sued anyone in your life and it wasn’t a big corporation that sucks the life out of hard-working people, then exit this website right now. Clear as mud?